Brotherly Love
by Leola Mae
Summary: Edward's mother Elizabeth has recently married Bella's father Charlie. Everything's fine until he realizes what he feels for his new "little sister" is not exactly Brotherly Love. AH EdwardxBella
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Hello all my lovely readers! I'm so glad you've chosen to join me on this new journey. It will be a bit of a departure from my usual but fear not, it will be kinky, smutty and push some limits. It is I who am writing it, after all.

This multi-chaptered fic began with an innocent (or not) little TwiKinkFest prompt –see below – and exploded in my head into a love story. I sincerely hope you enjoy!

_Prompt: E/B. Incest. They can be brother and sister, or just adopted. Edward is older, Bella is a teenager (17). Edward goes into Bella's room at night to watch her sleep and masturbate while looking at her. Maybe touching her and lifting up her shirt while she's sleeping. Preferable ending with some hot sex._

**Brotherly Love**

Chapter 1

I was twenty-two when my mother married Charlie Swan. Twenty-two when my life was turned upside down. Twenty-two when we moved into his house. And I was twenty-two when I realized I was probably going to burn for all eternity, all because of the child-woman down the hall from me.

But maybe I should start at the beginning.

First, let me say, I'm not a deadbeat, still living with my mom because I was too lazy to get a job or an education. Exactly the opposite, actually.

I worked my ass off at Newton's Sporting Goods. When I wasn't working I was studying for my bachelor's degree online. I couldn't afford a brick and mortar college and couldn't take off work long enough to take classes during the day. I needed something much more flexible and a whole lot cheaper.

I average two classes a semester and wouldn't be graduating any time soon but I made steady progress and helped support my mom. She worked as a waitress at the diner. She struggled to provide for me for as long as I could remember. When I was old enough I started working. She insisted I get my diploma though and wouldn't let me work if it interfered school.

I didn't graduate valedictorian or anywhere close to it but I got that piece of paper in my hand and my mother cried. The next day I started full time at Newton's. I've been working ever since and my mother gets a day off every week.

Charlie came into the diner every single day for years. He's a quiet guy and skipped the whole first date, wooing, dating stuff. One day while sitting at the diner's counter eating his burger, he blurted, "Wanna get married?"

My mother, Elizabeth Masen, said yes and they were hitched the next Friday at the Justice of the Peace.

Now mom, Charlie, me, and Charlie's daughter Bella all live under the same roof in Charlie's house.

Mom and Charlie have the only downstairs bedroom and mine and Bella's are upstairs and beside each other. It's both a blessing and a curse.

_Mostly curse._

_Because I'm pretty sure I'm going to hell._

I didn't start off being a raging bundle of hormonal creepiness. I swear I didn't. I mean, I get hard about two hundred times a day, just like every other guy my age but I could fight it off pretty easily until Bella came into my life.

The first time I met her was at the wedding.

"Hey, I'm Bella," she said as she sat beside me on the wooden bench outside the courtroom.

"Edward," I said, offering my hand.

She shook it and we sat there in awkward silence for a few minutes. Bella and I were five years apart – she, seventeen, and I being twenty-two. She was still in middle school when I graduated high school. That thought alone made me stop stealing glances at her long bare legs…for about five minutes.

"Soooo….." She nodded her head and pursed her lips, gazing around the hallway.

Our parents were at the other end of the bench holding hands and whispering to each other with doe eyes and secret smiles. I did not want to think about what they could possibly be saying to each other. My mom appeared happy and that was enough to make me happy. I didn't need to consider anything beyond that.

"So." Clearly our first conversation was stellar.

"Is your mom nice?" She leaned forward, palms on the edge of the seat and crossed her legs at the ankles. Picking the balls of her feet off the floor, she swung them back and forth beneath her nervously.

"Yeah. What about the Chief?"

We both glanced over to see our parents stealing kisses. We quickly averted our eyes.

"He's cool."

"That's good. Not sure how I feel about living with the chief of police. Now I gotta stop smoking weed in my room."

Her feet stopped mid air and her eyes grew huge, chin dropped and mouth open.

"Just kidding, little sister. Relax."

She scrunched her nose up at me. "My dad won't think that's funny. Unless you want room checks to be a regular thing, I'm pretty sure you'll want to put a lid on that line of joking." Her nose rose in the air. "Besides, I knew you were kidding."

"You so didn't."

"I did!" she protested.

"You're kinda cute when you're riled up, like an angry kitten with little purring growls."

She shoved at my shoulder but didn't move me an inch. "Oh, shut up."

I laughed at her and, after a moment, she gave in and laughed, too.

When the JP announced our parents husband and wife – and we stopped our childish gagging motions when they kissed – Bella said, "come on, big brother, I'll show you your room."

There wasn't much to move really because mom and I lived in a small apartment with old furniture. Charlie had most things, though Mom brought all her kitchen things with her along with grandma's china. My room we managed to move everything out of the apartment and into the one next door to Bella's room all in about an hour.

It was strange sleeping in a strange room but at least I had my bed, my stuff. I tried to get used to different trees outside the window as I fell asleep but they seemed just as out of place – or maybe that was me – when I woke the next morning.

I rose from my bed and scratched in all the right places yawning as I walked down the hall, still half asleep. Needing the bathroom first I opened the door and stood, momentarily confused.

_Why is it steamy in here? Who's singing? Is there a naked woman in the shower?_

My brain suddenly came wide awake. I had walked in on Bella in the shower! I could see her shapely curves through the dimpled glass door and waited a beat longer than appropriate before I backed out and closed the door.

I waited outside the bathroom for a moment but her singing never stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief, fairly certain she never even knew I was there. Unfortunately, I knew it. The blurry image of her naked body through the distorted glass of the shower door was burned into my brain despite the fact I'd seen it for all of about point three seven seconds.

When my turn in the shower came, so did I – all to the image of my new little sister, naked and singing in the shower.

_See what I mean? Definitely going to hell._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

At the breakfast table a week later, she still tortured me. While Mom made pancakes I watched Bella's hair, damp from another shower, wet her shirt. The long tendrils fell over the top swell of her breasts and I couldn't help but stare as the wetness spread downward. In my imagination, the cold air could blow over the spot and cause her nipples to bead up.

"Eddie?"

Her voice shook me and made my eyes snap up from where they were trained on her chest. "Huh?"

"I said did you want syrup?"

I swallowed as the sudden picture of syrup drizzled over Bella's breasts popped in my head.

"Syrup?" My voice took on a husky tone that I swear I didn't mean for it to.

She smirked at me and spoke slowly, as if talking to an imbecile. "I asked if you wanted syrup on your pancakes. Do you?"

I looked down at my plate where Mom had placed my customary four-high stack. I hadn't even noticed it was there.

"Eeeddddiiiieee?" Bella sing-songed as she wobbled the syrup in my direction.

I grabbed the stack with my fingers and jumped up from the table feeling with my other hand to see if my keys were in the pocket of my khakis. "No, I'm gonna be late." I shoved the pancakes in my mouth and spoke around the food as I strode out of the kitchen, mussing her wet hair as I went. "And don't call me Eddie."

The evening was no better. I was beat after work. Hunting and fishing season was in full swing and that meant great commissions but a very tired Edward. I shuffled into the house knowing Mom wouldn't be there yet.

It was too new a situation to think of this house as home. I went to the fridge immediately, trying desperately to ignore Bella standing at the stove with her back to me. She was stirring something that made my mouth water and dancing to the music I could hear despite the earbuds she had connected to her ipod. I grabbed a can of beer and popped the top then leaned back against the counter.

"Fucking killing me," I mumbled, knowing she couldn't hear me, while I watched her ass sway back and forth. I knew she didn't do it intentionally but she was wildly sexy in the most normal of ways.

After the supper of spaghetti and salad that she made for herself, her dad and me – which was better than my mom's, though I'd never tell her that – Bella sat doing her homework spread out at the kitchen table. It would be an innocuous enough activity, except for the damn banana she ate when she studied. I know I don't have to explain the imagery she inspired. I can promise my cock got the picture very well.

I tried to keep my perspective by mussing her hair and calling her "Sis" when I thanked her for supper. It drove her batty and she smacked at me with her hands, getting in a pretty good hit.

I trudged up the stairs, and sat in my bed with my laptop listening to a lecture online from one of my courses when my mother brought my laundry basket in and set it on my bed. I paused the lecture and took off my headphones. "Thanks Mom." I gave her a kiss on the cheek and grabbed my stuff to put away.

It wasn't bad enough, I suppose, that I was surrounded by Bella morning and evening, but as I stuffed my socks in the drawer I discovered she was invading my room as well. All my clothes smelled like Bella. I sniffed my boxers then threw them in the drawer with a growl. Even my damn underwear smelled like her. My fucking cock would be encased in her scent all day. It sucked just getting dressed every day was going to contribute to my near fatal case of morning wood.

I groaned, fell onto my bed face down and tried not to hump the mattress out of sheer frustration. Forcing myself to focus, I sat up and listened to the rest of the lecture. It was past midnight by the time I finished listening, reading and completed the writing assignment the professor had given.

I was tired as hell and sore from working all day, then sitting hunched over my laptop all evening. Deciding to take some Tylenol to ease my aches, I grabbed the pills and a glass I kept by the bed and headed to the bathroom for some water. That's when I saw her.

My room was at the end of the hall and I had to pass hers to get to the bathroom. Bella's door had been closed every night this week, but tonight it stood a little ajar. There she lay, on her back in her bed. She must have gotten hot. The window was open and her sheet and blanket had been kicked off while she slept. Like a sweet temptation laid out on a platter, she slept there in nothing more than a tiny little tank top and even smaller panties.

My hard-on was instantaneous. It was almost cartoonish; I could hear the _boing!_ as it sprung to life. I moaned. The sound of my own voice startled me and I rushed back to my room, heart pounding, praying I hadn't woken her. The chief would most assuredly shoot me.

That thought alone killed my boner, but not for long enough. Slowly the image of her half naked, all spread out haunted me. I imagined her there, getting herself off, moaning, writhing, coming.

_Fuck! I'm hard. Again._

It was several weeks with no one mentioning any disturbance of any kind before a thought began to occur to me. Obviously no one noticed my noise outside her bedroom that night, which made me wonder if I could catch another glimpse of her.

I started staying up long past when I thought she'd be asleep. Under the guise of carrying my glass to the bathroom for some water again, I walked down the hall hoping to find her door open night after night until a week of unsuccessful attempts passed. My failures had me frustrated as hell and full of bad attitude.

"Are you always so moody?" Bella asked me at the dinner table Saturday night.

"What? No! I'm not moody!" I was totally moody.

"Then what happened? Your girlfriend cancel your date tonight?"

I glance up at her. Was she fishing for information? Rewarding her with a smirk to tell her I was on to her, I watched her blush beautifully when she realized she'd been caught. But she wasn't the only one who noticed my agitated behavior.

My mother cut in to the conversation then. "You have seemed upset lately, Edward." Mom eyed Bella across the table then turned and mouthed to me, "Are you ok?"

I knew she meant more than just right then. She was asking me if I was okay with her marriage to Charlie, with the move, with having two more people in our lives when, for so long, it had been only the two of us. I wrapped my arm around her waist and gave her a squeeze to reassure her. Nothing was more important to me than her happiness and I'd suffer through a whole lot more than this to see her smile the way she had been.

"I'm good, Mom. Really." I had to calm down. I wouldn't take any more nightly strolls down the hallway I decided.

That was, until darkness came.

I lay in my bed staring up at the ceiling thinking, _What if it's open tonight and I'm don't even try? What if the one day I decide not to look is the one day my opportunity comes along?_

Like a cancer, that thought spread in my brain until I was up out of my bed and walking down the hall, not even a glass in my hand. When I saw her room closed up, I sighed in exasperation at myself and dropped my forehead to the door.

_How long was I going to keep doing this?_

To my shock, without having touched the knob, it pushed open. I stepped back quickly, afraid she'd opened the door and caught me. But she wasn't there. I peered into the darkness. Everything was as I remembered it: covers pushed off, window open, tiny tank and panties. The only difference was their color and the fact that she was asleep on her stomach this time. Her tight little teenaged ass was perky and begging to be grabbed.

I bit my tongue to keep from moaning and palmed my cock through the thin fabric of my sleep pants. It felt so fucking good, I did it again. Then again until I was standing just outside her doorway with my hand down my pajamas jerking off to the vision of Bella's barely covered - but very asleep - ass. When I came I had to brace myself on her doorframe and bite my cheek until it bled. I was desperate to keep from making any noise and waking her up.

The mess I'd made was uncomfortable and reminded me that I needed to back the fuck up out of her room before Charlie filled my ass with buckshot. Reluctantly I grasped the doorknob and pulled it closed. When it didn't close properly, a brief examination of the mechanism proved that it wasn't working correctly and probably hadn't for a long time. I realized it would come open at the slightest touch and I could've pushed it open any time I wanted to in the past week if I had only pressed my hand lightly against it. The thought scarred the shit out of me.

Now I knew she was so easily accessible, would I be able to resist peeking in on her again?

I lay down in my bed and threw my arm over my eyes. I knew the answer to that question.

I was well and truly fucked.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_I'm such a fucking creeper._

I swore it would never happen again, but the next night I couldn't stay away, not after I knew how accessible she was. Instead, I was standing in her doorway again, wondering whether to push the door closed behind myself or not.

_How the hell would I explain my presence there if she woke up? Sleep walking? Yeah, I'll blame it on sleepwalking…or maybe sleep wanking. That's a real thing, right?_

I ran my palm down my face at my own stupidity.

_Right. No one is going to fucking believe me, and then Charlie is going to kill me. I'm sure he knows lots of places to hide a body._

_Speaking of bodies…_

Much to my disappointment, tonight she was covered to the waist by her purple blankets. She lay on her back with her hair spread out around her head, her face turned away from me. I could see her nipples poking up slightly beneath her tank top.

Looking out of the door and listening for signs of life coming from downstairs, I debated going closer to Bella's bed. The further in I went, the less likely I'd be able to make an excuse for my presence. In the end, though, I just couldn't resist.

I allowed myself to go as far as her rocking chair, sitting down in it carefully, hoping like hell it wouldn't creak or anything. I decided to wait and see if she'd move around any and dislodge the covers that hid her beautiful body from me.

_God, I'm such a freak._

As I sat there though I realized how beautiful she was, without even taking into account her sex appeal. Her long hair looked silky and I wondered if I could touch it without waking her up. I flexed my fingers remembering the feeling of her soft locks in my hand when I mussed her hair in the mornings. In the moonlight her face gave off a kind of glow that reminded me of something out of a sci-fi movie: lovely and unreal.

Without warning she made a breathy sound and turned to face me. I froze in the chair, not even daring to draw my own breath while she situated herself in her sleep. Her legs kicked and her hands shifted. Her body rolled until suddenly one long, toned leg stuck out from beneath her blankets and I could see skin all the way to her hip. She was wearing pale purple boy shorts with a matching tank top. Her small waist dipped inward and her cute belly button winked at me. I became enthralled with it. I wanted to touch it, to run my finger around it, to dip my tongue inside. What would it feel like to lay my cock against her taut stomach and drip pre-cum into the tiny indention?

_Annnnd….cue erection._

I didn't bother making a pretense of being there for any other reason. Why lie to myself? I stuck my hand down my shorts and started pulling on my cock while staring at her belly button. Noticing her lotion sitting beside me on her dresser, I grabbed it and dropped some into my hand then went back to stroking. It was so much easier to pretend it was her hand on me with the sweet smelling, slick layer between my palm and my dick. I pictured her eyes open, smiling at me while I used the flesh of her stomach to get myself off. I'd come on her and watch the pearly white liquid fill that sweet, little naval.

I came soundlessly griping the arm of the chair and pressing my feet into the floor, straining with the effort to be still and quiet. When I could breathe properly again, I gave myself a moment to recover while I gazed at her. The guilt rushed back in as my orgasm faded away. I needed to say something to her, to apologize for taking advantage, for using her even if she was unaware

Without making a sound, I said, "I'm sorry, Bella."

I went back to my bed lonelier than before. It would've been nice to crawl into the bed beside her.

_So now I'm a creeper AND a girl? What the fuck?_

#

"Morning little sis," I said as I walked in the kitchen. This time when I ran my hand over her head to aggravate her, I took the opportunity to take note of how her hair felt in my fingers. With very little effort, I could imagine having my hands buried in it while she had her lips around my…

"Morning pervert."

I froze in my tracks. "What? What? Why would you say that?"

_Oh god! Had she caught me? Oh fuck! What was I going to do? Oh sweet Mary! Was the chief going to kill me? I looked around wildly trying to see if he was loading his gun._

She interrupted my panic attack. "Why'd you spend so long in the shower, perv?"

My heart beat a wild rhythm. I turned and opened the fridge just so I could grab my chest to keep it from exploding.

_Calm down. Just calm right the fuck down!_

"Are you kidding? It takes a long ass time to look this good." I flashed her a grin and a wink and hoped to distract her from my freak out.

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes.

"Where's mom?" I asked.

"Work, same as Charlie. Where are you going?"

"Work, too. Seems like you're the only lazy bones around here. What do you do here alone all day?" I had visions of a bikini clad Bella frolicking in the green-tinged sunlight. Maybe her precariously tied straps would come undone and her sweet little tits burst free…

"What?" I asked, realizing she was talking. I hadn't heard a word she'd said, so distracted was I on my fantasies of forest-nymph-fairy-Bella.

"Don't you listen?" she said in a huff.

"Sorry," I glanced at my watch. I had to clock-in in ten minutes. I set my empty milk glass in the sink and grabbed an apple from the countertop. Ruffling her hair once more, I rushed out the door in time to punch my time card with one minute to spare.

#

_I'm going._

I'd been laying in my bed for the last half hour trying to jack off to memories of her. I could conjure a hundred images but my brain wouldn't stop wondering what color she was wearing tonight and whether she'd give me a little peek of anything or not. I really wanted to see her tits, and not just through the shower glass or the material of her tank top. I wanted to see them, really see them.

_I can't go. It's wrong on so many levels. I can't. I'm not going._

What color would her nipples be? Light pink? Barely blushed? Tan? Dark red? Brown? The fucking possibilities seemed endless and every new one taunted me like fruit on a forbidden tree. I had to fucking know.

_Fuck it. I'm going. I'm just going._

With speed and efficiency that came with more practice than I wanted to admit, I entered Bella's room and shut the door. I'd decided if the door was shut then no one could sneak up on me. Like her dad….the chief….with his gun.

She was on her stomach this time, perky ass covered by ruffled panties.

_Why you cheeky little girl_! I smirked.

I didn't have a clue what you would call such things. All I knew was there were tiny fucking ruffles all over her ass and I kinda wanted to bite it...hard. And squeeze until she squealed, then rub my dick all over those frilly fucking ruffles.

I stood next to her bed, much closer than I'd dared approach before, palming my cock and admiring her ruffled ass. The clouds shifted and something shiny clasped in her hand glinted in the moonlight.

_What the hell is that?_

I leaned down to examine it but it was hidden in her palm, fingers wrapped around it.

"What have you got there, little sister?" I barely whispered, then totally freaked when her fingers flexed on the object.

_Shit! She heard me!_

I backed quickly to her door, positive she was going to wake up. My heart was pounding and I was trying not to hyperventilate. I peeked out the door to check if the coast was clear, but a glance over my shoulder revealed she made no other sounds or movements. I stopped, waiting and just breathing. After a few moments, my cock won out over logic and I abandoned the door, creeping closer to her again.

She'd heard me and reacted in her sleep. _Interesting._ I had to put this little phenomenon to the test.

I leaned forward and peered down into her hand once more. Whatever it was, was too big to be a ring, which was my first thought, but it was small enough to be mostly covered in her hand.

I watched her face and counted her even breaths. She was sleeping soundly. Maybe I could perform a little experiment now. No time like the present, right?

"Open your hand, Bella," I whispered.

Movement on the other side of her body caught my eye. I looked over and had to stop myself from laughing.

"Your other hand, Bella," I whispered with a smile.

She didn't follow my instructions precisely but her fingers twitched enough that the object fell loose and rolled to the edge of the bed. My hand shot out. I managed to catch it before the thing hit the floor. It was a close call_ s_eeing as how the small, metallic, egg-shaped object would have made a rather loud _thunk_ on the hard wood.

I stood and examined the object. It didn't appear to be anything other than a longer and skinnier-than-average egg, but it was shiny silver with a crack running around it where the two ends came together in the middle. I tried to pull it open, thinking the secret of the thing was inside it, but it wouldn't pull apart. Wondering if it screwed together, I twisted each end in opposite directions.

The thing started buzzing and shaking in my hand. It scared the ever-loving shit out of me and I nearly dropped the damn thing trying to get it stopped. It sounded louder than a jackhammer in the relative silence of the sleeping house.

When the silver egg finally stopped and my heart started beating again, I stared at it in confusion.

_What the fuck is it?_

_Oh, no way! No fucking way! Bloody hell! Bella had a vibrator!_

And she had it in her hand, which meant she'd been using it. The fact she hadn't put it away meant she was using it right before she fell asleep, which meant that...

I leaned back, dropping my gaze to between her legs. I couldn't see well in the dark, but when I bent down to look closer, I caught a wiff.

_Oh, fuck me running! She did._

Hand down my pants, three good pulls while I breathed deeply and I jizzed in my shorts like a pubescent twelve-year-old. My eyes rolled back in my head. I bit my lip to keep from swearing out loud.

I may have had to walk back to my room with my crotch a mess, but I also returned with a shit-eating grin and a prize in my hand.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next morning as I passed her room on my way down stairs, her door was open. I couldn't stop myself.

"Lose something?" I asked, disciplining my face to be the perfect mask of innocent inquiry. I stood, arms crossed, leaning on her doorframe watching her wiggle her ass in the air with her head under her bed.

Backing out from under her bed, standing and dusting herself off, she said, "Yes, my –" She stopped cold, body frozen, wide eyes staring up at me. "I mean no. Nope. Not a thing," She became too animated, rocking forward and back on the balls of her feet, hands clasped behind her. I smirked watching her. I knew exactly what she lost because it was tucked safely in a box on the top shelf of my closet.

"Then whatcha doing?"

Her eyebrows raised in nervousness. "Dust bunny hunting?"

If I hadn't already known what she was doing, the way her voice rose to a question would have given her away. "You're a terrible liar."

"Yeah, well, you…you…you have messy hair," she floundered.

I laughed at her weak insult. "It's called sex hair, Bella," I said, deliberately running my hand through it and giving her a wink.

"Pfft. You haven't been having sex, so it's just bed head." She crossed her arms and stuck her hip out. She was feisty this morning. I liked her that way.

Dropping my voice, I asked, "How do you _know_ I haven't?" I walked closer to her, invading her personal space.

She stared up at me, flustered. "M…my dad will kill you if he finds a girl in your room."

"Who said anything about _my_ room?" I chuckled as I turned and left.

_Way to go Masen! If you're going to go blabbing your big mouth, why don't you just wake her up next time you decide to rub one out?_

As punishment my brain wouldn't let me forget the way she looked up at me, lips parted, skin flushed. She was so close I could smell her. I had wanted to kiss her so fucking bad. If I hadn't left right then, who knows, I might have been stupid enough to do it.

_Rein it in, Masen! You've got to slow those horses way down. Like, full stop. You can NOT kiss your stepsister. Pretty sure that shit's illegal._

_Is it illegal?_

_Maybe I should Google it._

I rolled my eyes at myself.

_Unbelievable_. _I'm an idiot._

_You go to her room and jizz in your pants every night while watching her sleep and you're worried about whether kissing her is illegal? Pretty sure the what-not-to-do-to-get-arrested boat's sailed, buddy._

#

I lay in my bed fiddling with the silver egg in one hand and lazily stroking my cock with the other. I brought the egg to my nose and smelled it. It still smelled like her. Tantalizing questions presented themselves as I considered the object.

_Where all did she use this on her body? Nipples? Clit? Inside? Did she put it in her mouth to wet it first?_

I turned it on and listened to it buzz, wondering if she had a Pavlovian response to the noise. _Had her subconscious equated the soft mechanical hum with physical gratification? That would be an interesting hypothesis to test._

The thing was more powerful than I thought it would be. _How fast did it get her to come?_

I frowned. She wouldn't be getting it back any time soon. It didn't make any sense, but I didn't want her coming for any one or any _thing_ but me – even as impossible as that idea was.

I heard her bed creak and something bump against the wall. I turned off the vibrator to listen.

Something slammed. Muttered words I couldn't understand. More slamming. Then the bed creaked suddenly as if she had thrown her whole weight on top of it.

I waited.

Creaking, creaking, creaking…

_Could she be…?_

Creak, creak….

"Damn it!" The words were muffled through the wall but unmistakable. They did not sound satisfied. Instead, they had the very distinctive ring of frustration.

I tossed the silver egg in the air and caught it with a pleased smirk.

_Apparently, she won't be getting off tonight._

It was sadistic how happy the thought made me, especially since I most certainly would. The difference was all of my orgasms of late belonged to her. None of hers were mine. Insanely, I felt cheated somehow.

Who did she think about with this shiny silver egg buzzing against her skin? A nameless, faceless, man of her dreams that I could never compete with? Or some pimply-faced teenager that wouldn't be able to be anything more to her than a three-pump-chump? Did she think of lips against wet flesh, or broad hands massaging her supple breasts? Or maybe she dreamed of the long, hard cock of a real man teaching her the ways of unknown pleasure.

At least, I hoped it was unknown pleasure - to her anyway. The thought of any guy getting to see what I saw every night pissed me off. The idea that she was willingly showing what I was taking without permission, sent me into an irrational rage.

I breathed through my anger, eyes closed, willing the disturbing images away. I didn't have a leg of right to stand on and me being pissed about it wouldn't help anyone. Me, least of all.

The time ticked away while the forest outside the window grew darker and darker into the night. I spun the little egg between my fingers mindlessly, like some of those jingling balls from China that are supposed to relieve stress. It wasn't working. My body tightened with anticipation.

I waited until her room was silent, then I waited some more. Well past midnight, I rose from my bed; vibrator still in hand and stealthily padded my way into her room.

"Hello beautiful," I mouthed. "Miss me?"

Continuing forward, I saw her loveliness marred by a frown. With her brows furrowed and the corners of her mouth turned down, her nose wrinkled in frustration, I knew.

"I'm sorry, Bella." I held up the object in my hand until the moonlight bounced off it. The thought of leaving it for her occurred to me briefly but . . . "I can't, B. I just…"

_What? I couldn't what? Leave her the hell alone? Well, __**that**__ was blatantly obvious._

_Leave her property and stop sexually manipulating her for my own greedy needs? Again, way too evident._

"I don't even know what I mean. Even asleep I can barely talk to you. Why is that? What have you done to me?"

I sat down gingerly in her rocking chair, twisting the vibe between my fingers, careful not to drop it, and watched her for a long time. The shadows cast by the moon's glow had shifted halfway across the floor before I stirred to action.

She moved in her sleep and began talking. Just nonsensical things at first but it woke me from my thoughtless staring.

"Mfgnhuh," she began. I lifted my head to look at her face, away from where my eyes had been tracing the soft curve of her calf. "Isvfn." She shifted again kicking her feet and pushing her balled fists under her pillow. "Hair mmmfphu watch."

Mesmerized, I stopped the rocking of the chair and leaned forward to see her more clearly in the darkness.

"Tousssshhh mee," she breathed.

The plea went in my ears and straight down to my cock. I was hard so fast my boxers looked like the winter home for a jack-in-the-box. The sudden rush of blood away from my brain must've affected my reasoning ability because before I knew what I was doing, I was up out of the chair and standing over her, one hand in my shorts and the other running a hair's breadth away from the skin of her cleavage.

"Mmmm," she moaned. The sound brought me back from the brink of orgasm. I pulled my hand away as if her heated skin had burned me.

_Fuck! FUCKFUCKFUCK! What the FUCK are you doing? Are you fucking nuts? You're going to touch her now? It's not enough to be a fucking creeper, but now you gotta go and almost TOUCH her too? What the fuck?_

I paced to the door and back, hands in my hair. When I reached the side of her bed again she moaned once more.

"You're killing me, Sis. Seriously. Really fucking killing me," I whispered.

Her back bowed up off the bed pressing her breasts to the air and pulling her tank top up her stomach until the curve of her breasts peeked out the bottom.

"Mmedwaaar peeez."

I froze.

_Was she awake?_

I leaned down and searched her face but it was blank once more as her back met the sheet again. She was snoring lightly.

_Did I dream that? Did she really just say my name?_

_No way! No fucking way! I've got to be losing my mind._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I was up to my ass in fishing poles when the bell jingled over the front door.

"Welcome to Newton's Outfitters and Sporting Goods! What can I do for you?" I asked as I made my way toward the front. I sounded way friendlier than I really felt. I'd been almost finished with the damn display and didn't really want to be bothered by a customer. Instead, I found myself looking at Bella's big brown eyes.

"Hey." She waved the tips of her fingers at me.

My fingers mimicked hers. "Hey."

"Hey," said a third voice that startled me from my inappropriate ogling of my little stepsister. I turned and saw a huge man-boy who'd obviously not caught up with the puberty taking over his body. He was baby-faced and clean shaven, but with the muscles of a body builder. He'd come in the door behind Bella and flung his arm over her shoulders. Her body dipped with the weight of it.

"Edward, this is Jake. Jake this is my . . . uh . . . Edward."

"'Sup?" he asked with a jerk of his chin.

I looked around. Last I checked we weren't in a Rap video. "'Suu-uup," I drawled.

Bella stifled her chuckle and turned her head away from him.

"So . . . ?" I asked looking back at her.

"Bells and I are going down to La Push for a bonfire with my Tribe."

_He said it in such a way that necessitated a capital letter. I could almost see the braggart's chip perched on his shoulder._

"Yeah?" I asked raising my eyebrows as I looked between them. He'd get to the point one day . . . maybe.

"Bells needs some new boots."

"And you're here because?"

"Moral support," he said with a nod.

"Moral support. For boots?" I cocked an eyebrow at her. Please God, tell me she wasn't dating this ass hat.

He shrugged. She coughed over another giggle.

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I turned and led them back to the boots' section. "You know what you want?"

"Um." She looked around for a second. "These?" She pulled the display one off the shelf while Chief Asshat picked up a different one, stuck his nose it the top and sniffed.

_What the fuck was he doing?_

"Sure. What size?"

"Do you have a six and a half?"

I checked the boxes without luck. "Let me go check in the back." When I returned she was sitting on my stocking stepstool chewing her fingernails and the Chief was still sniffing footwear.

_Seriously, what the actual fuck was he doing?_

"Found some."

It wasn't part of my job, but I kneeled in front of her and reached for her foot. Removing her tennis shoe, I set it beside me and unpacked the boots from the box. She wiggled her toes in her neon rainbow, striped socks.

"Cute." I grinned up at her.

She blushed and shrugged, but made no apologies for her outlandishly colored foot coverings.

I slid my hand up her shin and lifted her foot to my lap, pressing my thumb to the tender underside. Her moan went straight where you'd imagine it would. To cover my rising problem, I lifted the boot for her to stick her foot into.

"So, is it any special occasion, this bonfire, or just for shits and giggles?" I asked mutt still sniffing the boots. Who knows? Maybe he had some sort of weird shoe-funk fetish, though if that was the case, perhaps he should try the goodwill down the street. My whole body ripped in revulsion at the thought.

"Meh. It's Saturday night in Forks. What else would we do?"

I nodded at her as I laced her boot, but the truth was, I didn't have a clue. The only thing I'd ever done my whole life was work, even before it was strictly legal for me to do so. Every Saturday night I had nowadays belonged to studying. I didn't have time for anything else.

"Feeling up the customers now, Masen?"

I glanced over my shoulder at Mike. "It's called 'customer service' Mike. You might want to try it sometime, considering, you know, it's your family's store and all." While I stocked the store AND ran the registers, my shifts working with the owners' son was usually spent with him sitting on his ass in his dad's office watching TV.

"Hey, Bella. What's shaking?" His eyes traveled the length of her, which caught Jake's attention and finally distracted him from his sniff-o-rama.

"Sup?" he asked Mike and laid his hand on Bella's shoulder.

"Sup?" In Mike's defense, he appeared as confused by Jake's sentiments as me. However, that didn't prevent the little game of stare-down they began.

Bella, now with both boots on, and me having satisfactorily utilized the opportunity to fondle her shin, stood and walked down the aisle away from us, testing the shoes. Ass hat one and two were still staring at each other. I rolled my eyes and them and began unbuckling my belt. The noise of my zipper lowering caught their attention.

"What the fuck, Masen?" Mike asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I misread the situation? I could've sworn you two were about to whip it out. My mistake." Fastening my pants once more, I asked, "How do they fit?"

Bella decided to go with the boots she'd found and, much to my chagrin, with Jake as well. He threw a smug grin at Mike as he walked out the door with Bella.

The urge to drag her home was overwhelming. That could be something a big brother did, right? You know, protect his sister's honor and all. Between the wanking session while she slept, of course.

I dropped my head to the counter and banged it a few times.

"No screwing around, Masen. Get back to work."

#

Fucking two in the morning. That's when Bella finally came home.

_What the fuck was she doing at two fucking A fucking M?_

I was exhausted, but I wasn't the only one waiting up for her. Papa Swan was sitting in the living room waiting for her. From the conversation that ensued upon her arrival, I figured out he knew where she was and who she was with and had consented to the late curfew. I wanted to punch him. Didn't he know how much shit kids could get into unsupervised in the dark on a deserted beach?

I'd tried, but I hadn't been able to sleep while she was gone. Any amount of shit could happen to her with a bunch of tribal numbskulls in the middle of fucking nowhere. She could get alcohol poisoning, fall into the bonfire, accidentally walk into the ocean, drown in a tide pool. The possibilities for danger were endless and I was dying laying there in the dark thinking up one awful scenario after another.

When she finally came through the door, I wanted to march down there myself and give her a good throttling.

An hour later, the chief had gone to bed and so had Bella. The house was silent once more and I couldn't hold myself back any longer. Holding back the stomping I wanted to do, I crept next door and slipped into her room. My restraint was worn thin. I stood beside her bed, my hands in my hair. A few deep breaths and a huff were needed before I could calm down.

"Don't ever do that to me again, Bella. Can you hear me? Somewhere in there, I know your subconscious hears me and I'm telling you . . . just don't. Okay? Don't fucking put me through that. I can't take not knowing you're safe. I can't take not knowing what or, God forbid, WHO you're doing. I just can't."

I sat in her rocker, head in my hands, hair gripped between my fingers.

_What the fuck was she doing to me? I can't do this._

"I can't do this," I repeated to the darkness.

For the first time in two months, I went back to my room unsatisfied. I couldn't have gotten it up if I'd tried. I didn't know what was happening to me. Maybe I was losing my mind.

Or maybe the unthinkable was happening and I was falling in love with my stepsister. Either way, I was fucked.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Twilight, it's sometimes called – that time between where you're not exactly awake, but you're not really asleep either. You're aware of what's going on around you, but through this strange sort of dreamy filter. Like reality, only not.

I was hovering there, watching images Jake had conjured with his eerie tribal legends. His gift for storytelling never failed him when he got going, and he'd been on a real roll. In the darkness of my room, in the twilight space in my head, sounds around me summoned my awareness.

A soft whoosh. Click. Prowling paws on the forest floor. My name whispered from a distance. Closer. Words I couldn't grasp. Breezes across my skin.

I struggled to hear the sound, stifled in the stillness.

A warning. Danger. A plea. Only heavy breathing to break the silence.

The fear pumped my adrenaline and brought me up through the darkness. Twilight dispersed. I lie in my bed, motionless in the chaos of my perceptions.

"I can't do this."

My breath died in my chest. Someone was in my room. I forced myself not to open my eyes, to maintain the façade of slumber. I counted my breaths, regulating them to normalcy.

The air shifted in the room and whoever it was moved from the corner toward the door. The click of the mechanism slipping from its slot. Open. The slightest creak as it closed slowly.

I allowed myself a slit in my vision. Coppery hair, a lean T-shirt covered set of shoulders, and plaid sleep pants disappeared from the last couple of inches before my door closed all the way.

Edward had been in my room.

#

"You look like hell." I struggled with the typical banter we exchanged.

He answered me with nothing more than a huff and a shake of his head. "No fucking clue," he muttered and walked out the front door with his coffee mug, keys jingling in his hand.

With everyone else at work but me, I wandered the house. Chores I attempted all failed in my distracted hands. Only mindless tasks that allowed me to operate while staying in my head got done. Dishes. Sweeping. Laundry.

I carried a basket upstairs and stood outside his closed bedroom door.

It wasn't any different than it had been before. I stepped inside. I hadn't really looked at it since he moved in. They hadn't lived here long enough, I guess, for him to really make the space his. Nothing lined the walls except what had been there before: faded wallpaper in a tiny blue, flowered print. The hardwood floor. The solid, nondescript sheets; two pillows. His dresser with faded stickers down one side – probably left over from childhood. I smiled to see the interests he'd had as a boy: cars and dinosaurs and firemen. The piece of furniture was well used and as old as myself, surely.

On a different wall, a homemade bookshelf, still raw wood and rough, but sturdy, functional, and heavy-laden. His college textbooks lined the three shelves; everything from Trigonometry to World Literature, all worn and frayed. I couldn't tell from the books what his major was. It bothered me that I'd never asked. That was something a sister should know, right?

Sister. I rolled my eyes. It wasn't a role I wanted, not with him anyway. I didn't feel very sisterly toward him.

In the beginning, the banter was fun and flirty. Slowly it changed to something heavier. Our flirting carried . . . unvoiced desires.

I shook my head at myself and headed towards his nightstand. The foolish desires of a girl's heart. How could someone like him, gorgeous as he was, five years older than me and a college student, see me as anything but a dumb kid.

But I wasn't a kid. The things I felt when he touched me didn't feel childish. The heat under my skin and restlessness in my muscles – those weren't my imagination. They also weren't there with anyone else, not Jake, or Mike, or any of the other boys around here. They had nothing I wanted.

But Edward? He did things to me with just a look that all the pawing in back seats of cars or in the darkness outside the light of bonfires could never do. Edward made me want more. The things-that-a-man-knew kind of 'more,' but even more than that.

Edward and everything around him, even now as I looked around the sparse room, vibrated with intensity. I had a feeling once I touched it, I'd be ruined for everything and everyone else.

I eased the drawer of his nightstand open. If I'd expected condoms and porn, I would've been disappointed. But somehow the simple notebook and collection of pens and pencils fit him better. I reached for the blue spiral but pulled my hand away. I couldn't violate him like that. Instead, I left the basket on his bed and closed the door.

#

Sleep wouldn't come. My mind wouldn't let go of consciousness. What had Edward been doing in my room? What did he mean he "couldn't do this?" Do what? I closed my eyes.

_Go to sleep, Bella._

Sleep began to creep around the edges of my mind when a small clicking sound came from my door. Was it Edward? Was he back? My already fraying nerves were rattled by the thought. I held perfectly still, focused on my breathing.

If it was him, if he was returning to my room this late at night, he was doing so with the expectation that I was asleep. If he caught me awake, as I truly was, I may never know the real reason for his presence. He'd make an excuse, ask me for something he didn't really need, make a hasty retreat, and then that would be that. This mystery wearing on me would not be solved. So instead, I "slept" and listened for his movements.

So softly it could've been a breeze outside the window, he spoke. "Hello beautiful."

My heart took off like a cheetah. Did he mean me? I mean, of course there was no one else in the room, so obviously he meant me, but why? Did he really think I was beautiful?

I felt him move toward me, toward the edge of my bed. "I'm sorry I was mad at you last night. I know you didn't hear me, but I'm sorry all the same. It's just, I think I'm addicted to you, or maybe this whole fucked up situation I've gotten myself into." The air around me shifted. Was he pacing? "I wasn't going to come back in here tonight. I told myself I wouldn't. I mean, this shit isn't legal, or moral, or even nice. All this does is make me an asshole. But . . . God! Look at you!"

I wanted to look down at myself. What did he see? Wait! Shit! Was I covered up? No! Crap! As usual, I had one leg sticking out from under the blanket all the way to my hip, and the blanket was only pulled up as far as my waist. He could see my panties on one side and the matching tank top, and a whole lot of skin. I couldn't alter this fact at all, either, without giving away that I was awake. Though this was my typical sleeping attire, I'd never really thought about how others might see it, and certainly not Edward. Okay, mostly not Edward. Okay! Okay. A little bit Edward, but the revelation that he was now looking at me, scantily clad as I was . . .

Oh shit! There go my nipples! Please God don't let him notice my nipples!

"You're like Aphrodite reclining on her bed, or some kind of romantic, sexy shit like that. Honest to God, Bella, I've never been so hard or jacked off so often as I have since moving here with you."

My eyes almost popped open. I almost gave myself away. I bit down on my tongue until it bled to keep from grinning like a goon. I made him hard, and he'd been, you know, frequently because of me. The schoolgirl in me wanted to giggle like a maniac.

"God, if you ever find out, if I ever get caught doing this, Charlie will probably cut my dick off. You'll probably hate me. But I can't stop. Why can't I stop, Bella?" He moved again and I felt him much closer to me. The heat from his hand registered close to my face. His fingers brushed barely there through a strand of my hair, pulling it down and over my shoulders. "Do you know I'm here? I mean subconsciously, I think you do. I didn't dream you saying my name the other night, begging me to touch you. I know what I heard. And now? Look at your breasts. Those nipples. They weren't hard when I came in, but they are now. Is it because you're responding to me being here?

"Maybe I'm a self-deluded, egotistical jerk. Maybe you're just cold. But then again, what if I'm right? Maybe you really do want me to touch you." His voice dropped even lower. "Can I touch you?"

So lightly that I felt only the heat of his skin and none of the pressure, something grazed over the nipple closest to him. Being still became more difficult by the second.

His words stopped but his breathing sped up. Slowly, I began to recognize the sticky sound of what he was doing. My own efforts to breathe were stifled. I made myself count each breath so he wouldn't notice I was as wide-awake as I'd ever been in my life. I felt my own anticipation climbing along with him. Higher. Higher. Wanting that completion . . . his completion. I wanted to see it. To watch him. Would he throw his head back with a long low moan? Would he grunt as he strained above me? Would he go rigid and still with his breath held? Or would he tremble all over,, muscles strained to the max? There was too much to know, too much I needed to find out.

I nearly cried out in frustration by the time I heard his breathing stutter. He was being quiet, trying not to wake me. But I listened. The wet sound of him finishing was my undoing.

I opened my eyes to see him wiping his wet palms on his pants, head hung down. I opened my mouth to speak, no idea what I was going to say, when he beat me to it.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry."

He didn't look at me again. He turned and left the room as quietly as he'd entered it. And I was left there in my bed, bereft.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Just a warning...This is a short story. There's only two more chapters after this one. I MIGHT write an epi but right now it's not written so no promises. Okay?

Chapter 7

"Oh no. No. No. No, she didn't." I shut the refrigerator and grabbed my mug of coffee from the cabinet, taking a sip. "Yep, she did. Damnit." Her cereal bowl in the sink sat there mocking me. Great. Just one more crappy thing to add to my already craptastic day and it wasn't even ten o'clock yet.

First, Bella used all the hot water taking a long ass time in the shower. Then used all the damn milk so I had to drink this stuff Charlie called coffee, black. I barely needed a mug to make the damn stuff stand up.

Bella sauntered in the kitchen in frayed cutoffs and fitted t-shirt, grabbed an apple and her novel off the countertop, and headed toward the living room with a shy smile, but not a word otherwise.

I had no other choice. I took my mug of undiluted mud, my still freezing ass from my cold shower, and my raging case of sexual frustration and slammed the door on my way to work.

Silly chit of a girl was driving me stark raving, barking mad. Beating my fists on the steering wheel as I barreled down the street, tires throwing gravel behind me, didn't make me feel any better. I needed one of two things. Either I needed to fuck the ever-loving shit out of my step sister, or I needed to get plastered off my ass. Neither would solve my problem, but I didn't give a fuck right now.

Speed dialing, I growled into the phone as soon as he answered. "Stress relief. Tonight. Your place. I get off at seven."

"Sounds good."

At least I had that much to look forward to.

#

Emmett opened the door and offered me the beer in his hand without a word.

"Thanks," I said, swallowing half of it before I crossed the threshold.

Jasper was already there, sitting on the floor, game controller in his hand and "Call of Duty" on the screen. Alice was on the couch behind him, her hands occupied by her own controller. From the sound of her glee, she was beating him soundly.

"What's new?" Emmett asked. He laughed when I glared at him. "That good, huh?"

My head dropped backwards onto the couch. "Yeah, that good. Where's Rosalie?"

"Still at the shop. You gonna tell us what's eating you?"

"I'm going to need a lot more alcohol first," I said, nodding towards the Jose Cuervo on the coffee table. Emmett obliged with a double shot. Apparently I was double fisting it tonight. I threw back the shot, chased it with my beer, closed my eyes and let the alcohol begin its magic. It was a start.

#

"Shu dee fukup, Alisssss."

Her maniacal giggling was harshin' my awesome buzz . . . drunk . . . whatever.

"Jathper, caint you shut her up?"

She laughed more until she fell off her seat onto the floor. The whole room descended into laughter. At least it wasn't at my expense.

"How the hell did you get yourself into this mess?" Rosalie asked.

How indeed? It all started with "Charlie! Damn bastard. Whole fuckin' messesisisssss hissss fault!" I stood and walked, or staggered, alright, fell in the general direction of the door. I think.

"Whoa there, cowboy. Where do you think you're going?" My eyes crossed as I tried to focus on Jasper.

"Get Charlie," I explained. "His damn fault. He's fucking my mom. 'Sonly fair I fuck his daughter." My feet moved again with intent to follow my plan, though I can't say for sure just exactly what that plan was right at the moment. It was definitely either killing Charlie or fucking Bella.

Mmmm….fucking Bella. That'd be nice.

"Dude, you can NOT have sex with the seventeen year old daughter of the Chief of police." Emmett pushed me until I fell backward into the recliner. It rocked a few times, making me seasick.

"Besides that, numbnuts, you're too drunk to get it up." Rosalie tipped her beer back and smirked at me.

My eyes narrowed at the evil bitch. I know Emmett loved her but she could be a real pain in the ass most of the time. "Up? I'll show you 'up!'" Grabbing the front of my pants, I struggled to open the fly. My unsuccessful ministrations threw Alice into another fit of giggles.

My head was too fuzzy to remember through all her cackling what the hell I was doing, so instead I closed my eyes. Visions of all the possible ways in which Bella could be spread out on her bed for me right now, played like a slide show in my head.

#

"I'm going to kill whoever is banging on those pots as soon as I'm not dying any more." It sounded an awful lot like Emmett was striking up an all percussion death metal band in the kitchen. His deep chuckle flowed out to where I was still semi-passed out on his couch.

"Just making you some coffee, man. Thought you could use it. Well, that and a shower, because, seriously dude, you stink."

"Thanks," I said sitting up and taking the mug of steaming, hot caffeine from him. He bounced down into the seat beside me. "Fucker," I muttered before sipping my coffee.

"Dude, Jose is not your friend."

"I know. Why can't I ever remember that shit?" I leaned my head forward in my hands then quickly decided that was the wrong thing to do when my brain felt like it was falling out my eyeballs. Instead, I leaned back and sipped again at my coffee.

Emmett drank his quietly beside me. The silence was nice despite the jackhammer in my frontal lobe. However, eventually we had to talk about the elephant that had its ass planted in the corner.

"Do you know what you're going to do?"

"No," I said, staring down into my coffee.

"You can't stay there, bro. I sympathize with you, really I do. God knows if I was in your situation with Rose in the next room, I'd have risked her daddy's gun, too. But, it ain't cool, man. You know that."

"Yeah. I know."

"So what's the problem?"

The coffee burned my tongue as I used it to give myself a minute to think. His question was a loaded one. There were so many problems with this situation, I didn't even think I could count that high.

"Look," Emmett said. "It doesn't really matter what the problem is. The fact of the matter is, you can't keep doing this shit. You're going to get caught and either get your ass thrown in jail or full of buckshot. Either way, not good. Not good at all."

My breath left me in a huge weighted sigh. "I know, Em. I know."

#

A shower, an especially long day at work with a hangover, another shower, and an evening full of studying, then balancing my checkbook – it was all right back to the grindstone for me.

The balance in my check register was higher than I'd ever seen it. It must've been wrong. Starting from the beginning, I went back and checked my math, my deposits, and all my outgoing expenses. Smacking my head with my hand, I realized why.

"Mom?" I asked, knocking on the door to her and Charlie's bedroom, pretending I hadn't heard the giggling behind it when she answered.

"Yeah, sweetie? What's wrong?"

"I haven't paid any bills lately, Mom. Why didn't you tell me? How much do you need?" I put my pen to paper, signing my name and waiting for her to give me an amount.

"What is it, Elizabeth?" Charlie came to the door in his t-shirt and boxers, hair a wild mess.

I closed my eyes demanding my brain not to think about why he looked like that. "Nothing, Charlie. I was just talking to mom. Mom?" I asked, opening my eyes and focusing on her again. "How much?"

"Oh, sweetie. I don't need anything."

"Mom." We'd had this discussion before, many times, in fact. She went without so much because she felt guilty taking money from me. She didn't understand how it hurt me more to see her struggle than it did to give her every dime I made. "Please let's not have this argument again. I thought we were past that. What do you need, mom? Five hundred? Eight? Are we behind on something?"

"Edward, dear boy. We're not behind on anything. You keep that money. It's for you."

I rubbed my forehead. The only thing my mother and I ever disagreed over was money.

"Mom!"

Charlie stepped up behind her, his chest a little more full than before. "Edward." There was a definite warning to his tone.

I didn't really give a shit about what tone he wanted to use with me. He wasn't my father. I was no kid. And he didn't know her like I did. If I let her, she wouldn't even eat.

Frowning at him, I said, "Charlie, I got this. I know what she needs. She does this all the time. I'm writing it for a thousand, Mom. That should cover anything that's late and some groceries. I get paid in two days. Anything that's not paid by then, I'll write you another check for it then." The pen moved messily across the small rectangular paper.

"Edward, we don't need your money," Charlie started, but my irritation was already up.

"I'm not giving it to YOU." My eyes flashed at him. "It's for OUR bills. She needs to eat. I'm no freeloader!"

"Neither am I." His smirk threw me off guard.

"What? I . . . What?"

"Edward. I appreciate your position, son." The endearment irked me, but my confusion was too great to be overridden. "But I married your mother's bills and responsibilities when I married her. It's _my_ job now to help her pay for things she needs, not yours."

"But . . ." I looked between the two of them still stunned. "The rent? Utilities? Groceries?"

Charlie wrapped his arms around my mother. "My house is paid for. My position as Chief of Police,"—he raised his eyebrows for emphasis – " pays quite well for a small town. It covers utilities, groceries, gas, internet, phones, pretty much everything around here. Your mother works now for spending money and, I don't know if you've noticed, but she's been able to cut back on her hours, too. I may have been a bachelor for a long time, but I know how to take care of my family. That includes you now, too."

He reached over my mother's shoulder and took the check from my hand. Tearing it in quarters, he stuffed in back in my fist.

"Pay for your college, Edward. Buy some books. Enroll in another class. Fix that beat up Volvo you've got. Do whatever you want. I'VE got THIS." He clapped his hand on my shoulder, pulled my mother back in the room, and shut the door in my face.

I starred down at the register in my hand. My balance read over fifteen hundred dollars. More than three months' pay – the amount of time we'd been living with Charlie. I'd never had so much money in my life. What was I supposed to do with it now?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Somehow life happened around me while I attempted to figure out where my place in this world was. Everything was off kilter now, I was no longer the son who took care of his mom, which meant I wasn't the guy who had to work 23 hours a day since he was fourteen either. I was . . . I didn't know what I was. That was the problem. How do you know who you are when you can't be who you _were_? The question rolled around in my mind like a marble in a big empty bowl. I lay in my bed in the silence, contemplating my place in the world.

Every night found me the same way. Once all my work was done, studying complete, business accomplished, I was left only with the same repeating question. I didn't have any more answers now than I had a week ago when Charlie shut his door in my face. Because of that, I floated in a dazed semi-consciousness of confusion. Only one thing kept me grounded – Bella. Thinking about her made me feel more centered. Bad as my behavior toward her was, I needed her now more than ever.

I glanced at the clock and crept next door. It had become my habit during the week to spend a lot less time standing over Bella jacking off – though I can't say it didn't happen – and a lot more time whispering to her in the dark, trying to process what my life was now. My strange sexual deviance had morphed into a fucked up type of therapy for me.

"Hey Bella," I whispered as I eased down into her rocking chair. She lay facing me in her bed on her side, sheet pulled up under her arms, hands folded sweetly beneath her cheek. The full moon outside shown bright into the room making her hair glow soft around her face. She was an angel, innocent as a dove, pure as the driven snow, a child with wide-eyed wonder as she floated through dreamland.

My head hung in shame. Every time I came here – in both senses of the word – Emmett's words rang in my head. I couldn't keep doing this. I raised my eyes to look at her again. Only she kept me coming back. She was my heroine, and I was the addict with no will power to stop.

Leaning back, I rocked silently in her chair while I watched her sleep. My eyes began their slow descent, caressing her skin where my hands wanted to be so badly. They traveled down her cheek, relaxed with sleep, dipping into the curve of her long alabaster neck, up over the hill of her lily white shoulder, down her arm to her elbow, a hop to her trim waist covered with her sheet, up again over the luscious curve of her feminine hip, finally sliding down the long slope of her toned legs. Admiring her all night would be no chore at all.

"You're so beautiful," I whispered palming my cock through my pants.

"I don't know how to get myself out of this situation, Bella. There are times when I'm not sure I want out. But I can't keep going on like this."

Her chest rose and fell with her breaths. The rhythm and my rocking, the lateness of the night, her soft presence, all of it was lulling me into a relaxed kind of arousal. My eyes felt heavy. Her skin, shiny in the moonlight, was dream-like. I rubbed myself in time with the slow rhythm of the night around me. "How can I give you up, sweet girl? Hmm?" I asked, standing and stepping lazily toward her bed.

She was so soft and warm, snuggly against her pillow beneath her sheets. I no longer cared how much of a pussy I sounded like in my own head; I wanted to climb into the bed with her. I wanted to bury my face between her soft breasts and seek comfort in her skin. Also, my cock very much wanted to hump himself on her leg.

_Sue me._

Letting the insistent little fucker free, I stroked him as I stood right over her. Seeing her soft curves, her beatific face directly beneath my cock, filled it to full mast. I imagined the iridescent drop at the tip falling softly against her blush pink lips. Maybe the light touch would induce her tongue out to lift the drop and pull it into her mouth, tasting me.

God, I wanted her to taste me.

Stroking slowly still, my cock perilously close to her face, close enough to feel her hot breaths against the under side, I let my free hand ghost millimeters away from her skin, skimming down her arm. She responded to me in her unconsciousness as her flesh rose in tiny bumps where my hand hovered over her. She shifted slightly in her sleep, shoulders moving to lie flat against the bed.

My eyes flew to her face but the same look she wore as she dreamed graced her features. Nothing changed except her lips, now parted underneath me. I stifled a groan, but lost control of it again when my eyes roamed back down her body. The sheet had shifted with her. Her breasts – bare as the day she was born – were now uncovered. The sheet caught on their rosy tips, teasing me with the tantalizing glimpse of oh-god-not-nearly-enough.

My dick twitched in my hand. The temptation of her was too great. I ached for her.

I stroked myself as I watched her tits. Up. Down. Up. Down. Up down up down. UpDownUpDownUpDown. I imagined her pants matching my own as I stroked faster and faster over her. The fist of my free hand clenched, digging nails into my palm. I wanted to touch her, needed to touch her so badly.

"So badly, Bella," I whispered. "I want you. Touch you." My hand flew up and down on my cock. My head fell back, eyes clenched in the fantasy. "Come on you," I grunted and didn't think a single thought as I proceeded to do just that.

I wavered, knees weak with the force of my climax. My head empty of everything, I was unable to hold a thought even if I'd been so inclined. Only the small sound of wetness began to permeate the fog in my brain. I lifted my head and slowly opened my eyes to survey the damage I'd done.

It was worse than I could have even imagined. All over Bella's chest, chin, and lips lay the strings and drops of the thick, white evidence of my shame. That was my death knell, the bullet in the chamber of Charlie's gun. There was no way I could remove it from her skin without waking her, and there was no way she wouldn't notice when she woke.

I closed my eyes against the bright, white sign of my disgrace. It wasn't that I was ashamed of being caught, though I surely would be now. I mourned that I'd done it in the first place. I shouldn't have been there. I shouldn't have taken advantage of her that way. I'd violated her every night, took passion from her without consent. I was nothing more than a monster, an animal, slave to my basest instincts. I didn't deserve her.

My eyes still clenched, dishonor still painting my hand, humiliation bare as my cock still hanging from my open pants, I staggered back and fell into her chair. "I'm so sorry, Bella," I wept. "I'm so very sorry."

"Don't say that."

_Heart attack_ doesn't begin to describe my reaction to her soft voice. My eyes flew open. My head flew up. Even the chair I sat in flew backwards bumping the wall with a much louder than needed thump.

It was my worst nightmare and my greatest fantasy wrapped in one: Bella, naked except for her tiny lace panties, sitting up in the bed. Then standing. Then coming toward me and kneeling in front of me.

"Of course. Of course you wake up now, because I'm a colossal fucktard. Oh God. Oh God." Utterly panicked, I leaned back away from her in fear. Would she slap me? Heaven knew I deserved it, that and so much more.

Her hands moved toward my still exposed cock, absurdly flapping around with my movements. If she yanked the damn thing from my body, it was no less than I should have expected. I flinched away, but her hands persisted. Her fingers gently grasped the elastic of my pajama bottoms and pulled them out toward her and then up to my stomach, covering me. Her soft fingers brushed the too long hair from my forehead, her eyes holding mine the whole time.

"Don't. Don't touch me. I don't deserve it."

"Shhh."

"You should hate me," I said.

"I don't."

"You should go tell Charlie to get his gun."

"I won't."

"You should be screaming at me, crying, hitting me."

"Probably."

"Why aren't you?"

She shrugged.

"Aren't you disgusted?"

"Not really."

I laughed in her face. "You're utterly ridiculous. Do you not care about your own safety at all?"

Her brow furrowed. "Are you going to hurt me?"

I felt my expression soften at her question. My palm lifted to cradle her face, but fell back down to my lap without touching her. "I could never." Another humorless chuckled escaped me as I watched my cum slide down between her perfect, pert breasts. I _had_ hurt her, maybe not physically, but I'd violated her. I'd never forgive myself for what I'd done to her.

Seeing her skin painted with my essence was something I'd dreamed about for months, but not like this.

"I've done more. A lot more. Never quite so . . . physically evident before, but," I swallowed my pride. She deserved my confession. "This isn't the first time I've come here, Bella."

"I know."

"No, you don't. I've –" I stopped and looked at her. "You know?" My voice cracked. "How . . . How . . . How much do you know?"

"I've been awake, Edward." Her voice was soft and I could see the blush creep up her cheeks, even in the moonlit night.

My hands flew to my hair and gripped it hard, pulling, trying to ground myself with the pain. I stood and paced the small room. "You . . . You've been aw-awake?! How long? How long have you been awake?" Panic seized my chest. I had no right even to this fear within me, but I was helpless against it.

"About a week."

"A week? A week!" What had I said to her in that week? What had I come in this room in the darkness and confessed to what I thought was her unconsciousness during the last seven days? My thoughts raced too fast for me to catch them. I wasn't sure what I had said this week. What had I said last week? What the week before? How could I separate one night from the next? The pleasure, the words, the darkness melted it all together until it was its own solid, singular existence, separate from my life everywhere else.

I rested my head against the wall beside her closet, unable to face her any longer. My shame was compounded, heaped helping upon helping on my head.

"Edward," she whispered to me.

I whimpered. "I . . . I don't even know what to say." I turned to face her. She deserved to have my apology with at least enough respect to say it to her face. Forcing my eyes to meet hers, I kneeled down in front of where she was still on her knees on the floor. "There are not words enough in all the languages in the world to express to you how sorry I am."

"I'm not."

My eyes widened at her with incredulity. "How can you say that? After what I've done? What I've been doing?"

She shrugged again. "It was hot," she said with a grin.

Of all the things she could have said to me in that moment, of all the things I had nightmares about how this could end with her finding out, those words weren't among them. She'd rendered me speechless.

"I . . . uh . . ."

Her blush began in her cheeks and bloomed, pink and warm and so innocent. I followed the blood pooling beneath her skin all the way down her chest, which only served to remind me she was still covered in my jizz.

"Shit!" I pulled my t-shirt off over my head and began wiping at her. Her little moan as my hands passed over her breasts shook me from my single-minded pursuit of removing my shame from her skin. My eyes bolted up to her face.

The pink deepened in her cheeks. She was a vixen with an angel's face.

"Bella. I –"

She rose up on her knees. My body mimicked hers without forethought. She pressed herself to me, naked skin to naked skin, and I was lost forever. Somewhere in the back of my head I knew; there would be no coming back from this for me. Ever.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"I'm moving out." The sudden silence that ensued at my out-of-the-blue announcement lasted mere seconds before two voices broke into a cacophonous machine gun of questioning. My eyes flicked from one face to another but it was on the stone face of Bella's father that they lingered.

"Edward, no," my mother lamented.

"What? Why?" Bella demanded.

But it was Charlie's silence accompanied by his narrowing eyes that held my attention. With not so much as a word, I could feel him grilling me.

"I kissed her. I kissed Bella."

His eyes turned to slits. My mother gasped and Bella's speech became stuttered and flustered. I forced myself to hold his gaze.

"She's not just a casual fu-" I pressed my lips together. "Not that we've . . . 'cause we didn't. I wouldn't, well, maybe. But we shouldn't, because she's not. I want to, but I want her. More. With her, I mean. Which is why I'm moving out."

To my left I heard Bella groan, "Oh God," with her face in her hands.

It wasn't exactly the eloquent speech I'd planned. Though I'd never intended on telling him the details, I needed to confess at least a little. I felt like I needed his absolution before I could honestly gain his permission, because I wanted his daughter – carnally, yes – but legitimately as well. I wanted her in every way, and I couldn't gain Charlie's permission, let alone his blessing, with so much hiding and sneaking and guilt.

In the darkness the night before, I'd done what I'd been dreaming of for so long. In the midst of my horror and shame, Bella had taken my hand and pulled me into her bed. We talked all night, me listening to her for a change. Every word from her mouth, whispered to me in the darkness, confirmed she was all that I'd never dared hope for.

And for once I got to watch her come. She whimpered into my neck as I coaxed her with my fingers and my words. "So beautiful, Bella. Waited so long. Wanted to see you. Come for me, baby. Let me watch." She bucked against me, grasped desperately at my shoulders, and writhed in my arms. When she'd finished, she lay sated and sweaty in the crook of my arm. When she shivered I covered us both, and we slept.

At the breakfast table this morning, after a few well timed texts, I was able to solidify my plans.

"Emmett's roommate is moving out. I'm moving in with him. Today."

"Edward, you don't have to do this."

"I do, Mom. But more than that, I want to. It's like what Charlie said." I glanced over at him. He still hadn't said a word. "He's got this, right? So I'm going to go do my thing, and I can't do that here."

Tears streaked down Bella's face. "Bella, you understand, don't you? Why I can't be here like that?" My eyebrows raised with meaning. The blush in her cheeks told me she understood what I wasn't saying. But, for all the world, her expression looked like I was abandoning her. She nodded minutely.

Charlie cleared his throat. "I'm off today. I'll help you move. We can use Bella's truck."

"Daddy! Dad, tell him he can stay." Her little girl pout didn't phase him. He wasn't falling for the whine when she said daddy, either.

"No," Charlie answered, his eyes never leaving mine. I cringed under his glare, dropped my gaze to my lap, hopeless in ever gaining back his respect. Surely he could see through all I had said to what I hadn't. "Edward. You're always welcome here." One of his eyebrows rose.

I could only nod at him, then stood, deposited my plate in the sink and went upstairs to pack. One box into it and I heard Bella standing in my doorway sniffling. "You know I can't stay here, baby. I couldn't stop myself before, and I wouldn't be able to stop myself now that you know." I rested my hands on her hips and leaned down to nuzzle her neck. There was no more desire in me to leave her than she had for me to go. Only the draw of having her for real, for keeps, could make me do what I was doing.

She sniffed and nodded against my chest. Her tears soaked through my t-shirt.

"Go out with me?" I asked.

"What? Like on a date?"

I chuckled at her. "Yes, on a date. You know, those things normal people do with their girlfriends – dinner, a movie, wondering if you'll let me kiss you on your doorstep when I drop you off. The whole shebang." Smiling, I brushed her cheek with the back of my fingers.

She swallowed and stuttered out, "G-girlfriend?"

I hesitated. "If you'll have me. That is, if you want me." Nerves overtook me. Maybe after all this she wouldn't.

"Well, I don't know. I told Jake I'd go down to LaPush for the bonfire this weekend . . ." Her coy smile did nothing to assuage my anger.

"I swear if you let the shoe-sniffing dog touch you, I'll break his hands."

"There's Mike to consider, too, of course. He seemed like he might be interested, maybe I could give him a call?"

"Bella," I growled and palmed her ass, bringing her flush against me. "You're ass is mine, do you hear me? Let another man touch you and I'll go all 'big brother' on him."

"Hmmm," she hummed and palmed my cock through my jeans. "Big brother, indeed. So tell me, Bro, on this date of ours, am I gonna get me a little brotherly love?"

"Absofuckinglutley," I said as I kissed her.


End file.
